Predictions for 2007

Here at Piistakr we are joining in the fun that all the arses of the world share in at this time of year – making predictions!

And most of all, we recommend that ours will come true – unlike some of those other columns which ‘claim’ to have the inside information. So here it is, 2007 predicted…

Sex Offenders to Register MySpace Page

In a move that most right wing libertarians are applauding tonight, the Australian government has released a proposal requiring all pedophiles and sex offenders to register their own page on social networking site MySpace.

Phillip Ruddock, Attorney General, has called for the parliament to accept the proposal when it returns to debate in 2007.

The proposal will see that all offenders listed in the national child and sex offenders database, will have 28 days from the time they re-enter the community to register their own page on MySpace listing their heinous crimes and what they are doing to right their wrongs.

Iran Blocks YouTube, Blames Borat

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has announced this week that as of 1 January 2007 internet video services provider YouTube will be blocked at the ISP level in his country.

President Ahmadinejad made the announcement in a press conference today that the proliferation of the Borat videos on YouTube and the support that Borat is raising against their neighbor Kazakhstan, will not be tolerated anymore in his country.

Kazakhstan’s Deputy Foreign Minister, Rakhat Aliyev, has welcomed the ban stating “we welcomed Borat (aka actor Sacha Baron Cohen) to come here and see the damage he has done to our country but he not come. Praise to President Ahmadinejad for doing something proactive to stop Borat.”

Windows XP Wins in Usability

The Swedish Laboratory for Usability Testing Studies has just released its 2006 study on Usability of all operating systems at the corporate and home user level. The clear winner from the findings for 2006 has been the Microsoft Windows XP Professional operating system.

While Bill Gates was understandably ecstatic about the news, talks from the other major camps, Apple and Linux, state that the study is full of bias and even ‘rigged’.

The study, conducted for a period of 9 months of 2006 and comprising of over 240,000 is said to be the largest private study of its kind anywhere in the world.

Greer: Wiggles are Sexist

After the departure of Yellow Wiggle, Greg Page, last week due to a battle with an ongoing medical condition, feminist activist Germaine Greer has lashed out at the Wiggles for not replacing Yellow Wiggle with a woman.

Sam Moran, the understudy for Greg Page for the last five years, has been filling in for Page on the last US tour when Page was too ill to perform. Commentators have stated that children will most likely not notice the difference becuase Moran has dark hair like Page.

However, Greer has lashed out at the Wiggles for not making a change in the female direction. “These Wiggles have made a lot of money from children as an all male group – it’s time they invested some time with the kids in teach them things such as Equal Employment Opportunity.”

Zune in 13 Colors

Microsoft has just announced that it is releasing the new colored Zune next week, just in time for Christmas in 13 different colors – bondi blue, strawberry, blueberry, lime, grape, tangering, graphite, ruby, snow, indigo, sage, blue dalmation and flower power.

News of the new range of colors has swept through the Zune community with pre-orders already occurring through the Urge site with a promised delivery date (in the US) pre-Christmas, if ordered before 10 December.

Bill Gates from Microsoft has come out in a press release today indicating that the new colors are a shot in the arm for those looking for a competitive offering to the Apple ipod this Christmas.

AOL to Buy Out Podcast Network

Last month saw the discussions between Jason Calcanis and The Podcast Network (TPN) to establish a podcasting relationship. Calcanis has this week decided to join VC funding group Sequoia Capital. Now AOL are back in the seat looking for a podcasting partner and has turned its eyes to TPN.

And after all of the current fusses at Yahoo this week, AOL are keeping very tight lipped about any campaigns that they have to purchase players in the podcasting space.

Irish Air Disaster

Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two seater Cessna plane crashed into cemetry.

Officials say that the plane has lost navigational direction and tried to land in what was believed to be an open field.

MySpace and FakeYourSpace In Class Actions

Eleven Orange County teenagers have entered into separate class actions against MySpace and FakeYourSpace simultaneously based on the recent action of MySpace to clean up against friend bots from FakeYourSpace.

The action comes as the eleven teenagers have had their MySpace friend rankings reduced from hundreds of thousands to single digit numbers. The teenagers were purchasing ‘friends’ from FakeYourSpace to bolster their MySpace position to become more popular. The ‘friends’ are ‘bots’, that simply insert a number of random hot comments each month into your MySpace account.

Microsoft’s Ballmer Imitates KISS’ Gene Simmons at NASDAQ

After being counseled by Bill Gates and the board for his dancing and ‘hitler-esque’ antics at a recent Microsoft conference, it seems that Steve Ballmer has not taken the advice provided by his mentors.

Seen at a special concert put on by the rock super group KISS at the opening of the NASDAQ on the day of the Vista launch, Ballmer was caught on camera trying to mimick bass player Gene Simmons.