Google Opens Up GooglePorn

In a move that has startled a number of major players in the world of porn this week, Google has quietly announced that in Jan 2007 it will be releasing GooglePorn.

Google has started the process by removing a number of the top words used for porn traffic in Google from direct association with porn sites. The next step in the process is to remove the sites from Google’s public index altogether and move them to GooglePorn.

The whole purpose for the move is not truly known. Google will not specifcally comment on whether GooglePorn is a move that will financially benefit the company or whether it is being bought in specifically in response to social pressures.

However, Jonathon Reedy, spokesperson for Google, came out today in a release stating “we’re doing this to please a lot of religous and political parties, that’s true, but it’s not a reduction in the freedom of people’s speech”.

When asked if he could name the religious parties involved, Reedy came back with a stern “no comment”.

The shake up has sent shivers down the backbone of so many young entreprenuers using Google as the vehicle to direct punters to their porn sites.

Micheal McManus, owner of the site “pussygalore.com” and one of the many to come out against Google’s move stated today “What’s worse is not knowing what Google is going to do next to us. I rely on Google putting me at the top of the list to direct unsuspecting teenagers to my site. My advertising revenue model is now shot to bits.”

“What’s even worse is the amount of money that Google want to charge us to list on GooglePorn. We don’t even have any idea of what we are going to be charged and whether we will be able to continue offering our low prices of $3.95 per 3 day access for teenagers anymore. It’s just unethical and anti-competitive.”

“Our low cost of entry allows so many teenagers to access quality porn online away from their parents in the comfort of their own bedroom. This is a vital service to society that often goes unnoticed that is now in jeopardy due to Google’s greed. It’s a real shame.” MacManus added.

This has also bought out a number of queries to see if any other search engines are going to be doing the same.

On the back of Google’s release, AltaVista has come into the marketplace with its own site for release, AV4U, to be released Q2, 2007.

A spokesperson for the free porn industry, who didn’t want to be named, responded by stating “the whole world of the free porn industry is in jeopardy now. We rely on the ability to freely go out and purge porn from sites on Google in order to give this back to our very strong teenage readership. What are we going to do now?”

10 responses to “Google Opens Up GooglePorn

  1. Love ur work G – u missed the digg buttos thou ;)

  2. I also heard that PayPal were in talks with major porn distributors to integrate 24 hours worth of access for teens to porn sites into Google’s new “Google PornSearchr” engine. For teens that could not get a credit card.

    I was wondering if that was true? We were expecting to start-up our new company based on this rumour and call it “QuickWankr”.

    We thought the idea has potential based on the naivety of teen and the stupidity of parents. Plus we were going to employ some nasty scripting injections to load them up with some great spyware while they were on the site.

  3. Leon

    Keep an eye on the news for tomorrow :)

  4. Pingback: The New (Legitimate) Porn Presence: eBay and Apple «

  5. Lawrence E Opper

    fuckin pussies

  6. Lawrence E Opper

    eat my ass you fuckholes/?

  7. Lawrence E Opper

    ok perform mouth tricks on my johnson please?

  8. Lawrence E Opper

    punkassbitchez

  9. u all are a bunch of dildos lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s