Larry Ellison Joins Philanthropy Market

In a seemingly unusual move that has shocked most in the IT world today, veteran take over king and self confessed monopolizer, head of Oracle Larry Ellison has announced that he too is throwing everything away to become a philanthropist.

Asked if this was in response to pressure from the business community to follow in the footsteps of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, Ellison commented that he saw the future in charity work and was going to focus on South American countries.

“While I can see the shift in the market at the moment for poor people is in Africa, there are too many players already established in that market. Bill and Warren can have it” Ellison announced.

Not really understanding what his point was, Mr Ellison was pushed by the press gallery to articulate his plans further.

“Oh it’s quite clear. You’ve got Kofi Annan, Bob Geldof and that Bono fellow already spending large amounts of time in Africa. The market there for helping people is flooded. I’m heading to South America where I can make a difference and sail my yacht in a number of the main races off the coast as well” Ellison demonstrated.

“And in the longer term, with the investment that I make in South America as one of the sole players, I will be able to shoot out in front as the best IT philanthropist in the financial years 2009/2010. I’m clearly going to be in front.”

Ellison also added “look Craig Conway [ex Oracle VP and CEO, PeopleSoft] has now moved into the Philippines, clearly an over-inflated market for philanthropy, and Tom Siebel [ex Oracle VP and CEO, Siebel, now owned by Oracle] is looking toward India for the short term. Both of their territories will be mine within a short period. South America is just so obvious!”

With the press gallery not quite sure how to respond, the question of who would be running Oracle in his absence was raised and what return of investment there would be for shareholders.

“Oh we’ve never taken return of investment into account in any of our acquisitions before. It’s all about the thrill of the race that matters.”

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3 responses to “Larry Ellison Joins Philanthropy Market

  1. I like the concept – funny! I think you nailed the personality type.

  2. thanks – and by the way, have read your blog and like it. keep up the good work.

  3. Pingback: Microsoft Releases One Laptop Per Child Scheme «

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