Microsoft Predicts Your Future

While Microsoft has quietly released another one of its ‘services’ to increase awareness and traffic to its Windows Live Messenger platform, some people are already starting to complain about the services.

It’s latest offering, Tales of Zoltar, is based off the fictional character in the 80’s movie Big, starring Tom Hanks. The offering, while clearly engaging the viewer into thinking that they will have their fortune read, is lured into yet another Microsoft positive re-enforcement marketing campaign.

Here’s a list of just some of the things that Zoltar is spitting out to the punters:

  • Vista will create many headaches for you, but that’s ok – the funky GUI at the end of the 5 hour process will be worth it
  • Vista will only really work on the Microsoft built $6000 machine – but that’s cool because you want to spend this money on a PC to have at home and beat the Jones’
  • Vista will be a part of the ‘Patch Tuesday’ program for the next 12 months to come – but that’s okay because it’s helping support a global economy of Sys Admins
  • If you choose to move to an open source productivity suite you will not be productive
  • Beware of the penguin and his software for he is evil and will only damage your PC
  • You should only use IE 7 because the FBI built Firefox and use it as a surveillance tool on all unsuspecting people

Ms Dewey, Microsoft Live’s search engine using the sexy Janina Gavankar is also built on a similar theme. When searching for ‘cow breeding techniques in Texas’ we got the following response:

“Ms Dewey thinks that this is a fascinating subject and did you know that Vista will be a part of the ‘Patch Tuesday’ program for the next 12 months to come – but that’s okay because it’s helping support a global economy of Sys Admins.”

hmmmm…


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